It's Fear

The worst is over,
But my mind keeps crawling back.
The things that were,
That are,
That could have been,
Have darkness closing in.

It's phantom pain.
Its long old wounds,
The nightmares flashing back.
What is this,
How did I get here?
I wish I were on track.

It's failure,
It's the terror of the night,
Disappointment strong and loud,
And patience wearing thin.

There's anger here,
But then again,
Perhaps I should be glad.
I'm here today,
And in a way,
I'm better than I've been.

I still fall down
Into the well
So full I fear I'll drown.
There's poison there,
And if I hear that old familiar sound,
I'm crashing back down to the ground
Where gentleness was loud.

Tipsy-turvy,
Such is life,
But is it really fair?
The pain I feel,
So far, but real,
Is all I fear I have.

Winding down
Some narrow roads,
The path is treacherous.
If I could speak, and be so free
I fear I might explode.

Images play in my head
And often fill with doubt,
I'm losing hope,
Not here nor there,
There's death up and about.

How to describe
What's deep inside,
So dark and so morose?
Thinking on it long enough
Would leave the sun a ghost.

So bend an ear,
And listen here
A cold and bitter song.
But were I pressed
To come confess
The whispers so long gone,
You'd find me strange
To keep it caged,
But nothing's clearly wrong.