An Assortment of Vagrant Thoughts

I'm confused, I don't sleep,
I'm too deep in my head;
I feel dead, it's not right
In my mind, I'm too slow.

I am wrong; I keep stumbling,
Feel the rumbling of darkness;
I am silent, don't scream,
I'm not free, never ends.

Please just stay, I don't mind,
I search light; it's no use,
I feel youth slump and die,
I survive on cheap thrills.

This steep hill that I climb
Much too high, I'm so sore
Kills my lungs and my legs,
Makes a wreck of my heart.

And I fight losing battles,
Rattles me, I'm a fool;
It's no use, people die,
So will I, so why care?

If I stand on this street
And the breeze cools my bones,
I'll be gone, nothing left
To be remembered by.

All the fire, it burned out;
When in doubt, watch the smoke,
Searing coals on my feet;
Don't you see who I am?

But to share, it ain't free,
There's a fee and I'm poor,
I am doomed, why try hard?
My heart breaks anyway.

As I say to the ones,
To the swans that don't sin,
You don't think this is fair?
Don't compare black with blue.

You'll see soon what I mean,
These hot tears won't stay long;
I move on with half-steps,
Yet the pain slows me down.

In this town, I'm locked up
And the fog covers sins,
That's my thing: breaking hearts,
Enough scars I've to prove.