Not Fair

feverish heat
hands held, fingers
intertwined
sweaty palms
your lips tasted like my chapstick
pumpkin marshmallow, I remember it still
the air smelled like funnel cakes, with colors
and rides swirling the sky and one singular ice cream cone
shared between two tongues
your hair was so long, tell me, is it still?
you promised you'd never cut it
but promises are broken, aren't they?
I remember you were afraid
of me falling
when I put my arms in the air
on that ride, that spinning blur of lights and colors
I remember laughing so hard
until I saw your face
and saw that you were
really afraid
tell me, baby
tell me
if you could go back in time
would you have
let go?
who am I to you now?
was I just a pebble
in your shoe
tell me
do you regret holding on to me
for so long?
are you free now?
did you cut your hair
the way you cut me the hell
out of your life?
do you know
I still check the activity
on your old profile
just to make sure you're still breathing,
tell me
do you wish you'd never met me,
let me
come into your life and make things so fucking complicated
I'm sorry
I ruin everything
I touch

I loved you.