Leaving Home

A mass, no.
A jumble.
A jumble of emotions tearing past my flesh into my heart.
Torn between two homes and even more emotions.
Wait. Is it two homes?
Or is it love.
Love of a boyfriend.
Or love of a Mom.
Soft gentle guiding and a warm hug always.
Mom I love you and I could never replace you.
The regret setting my car into reverse and leaving your driveway will haunt my dreams if there are any in sleepless nights.
I am a bird.
Unwilling to fly yet jumping out of the nest into the cats mouth.
I left a home where I belonged for the one I did not.
I left the life which I lived for 5 years for one I would never have planned.
For a love of a boyfriend.
A love so great I'd fight life and the world.
He is my world.
Yet. Heart. Why do you ache?
Why do you ache when we are united?
Why make the tears stain my face?
Why make me bite my tongue and force my knees to lock if not to run souly back to the heart that reared me.
Oh heart. Oh home. Oh love.