No One Knows

You don't know what's behind those pictures
You only see the smile
No one's seen the tears
No one's seen the heartbreak
No one's seen the nights up till 3am
With only two hours of sleep
And the torture that brings
How much more it makes me want to see you the next day
No one's seen the torment in my heart
And no one knows what was going on in my head
But I do
And that's what I see when I look back on those old pictures
I don't see the fun times
Because there's a veil over them
A veil of darkness
That has been stained over them and will never fade
Because those tears, those feelings, those nights
They won't ever be forgotten
I may be better now
But they won't ever be forgotten
Those memories are tinted
With the memory of you

When you see me standing in a dress, smiling with my friends
I see the breakdown I had just before
I see all the tears that wouldn't stop
I see myself spiraling down in disparity
I see myself falling into that beloved black hole
The one I never wanted to crawl out of
The one I felt too comfortable in
I see all these things that should be good memories
But never will be to me
Because what was going on behind them
Was just too much

I see me never feeling whole
Never feeling whole
Forcing myself to be happy
So I would appear that way
And that's what those pictures are
They're the things that nobody knows
They're what I wanted the world to see
But they weren't really me
And no one will ever know
Because the happiness is what was captured
And there it will be frozen forever
For everyone to know
Just how happy I truly was
♠ ♠ ♠
I'm just starting to get into writing, would love any advice! (: