Ashes

This is where I whisper my love for you

a place where sunlight bathes my skin

and there is silk caressing my chest

as if everything is full and bright

as if the warmth radiating from these fingertips

hasn’t long ago faded

to be dusted aside for a need

that was born long before I stood at your side.

This is where I mourn you

where the curtains are drawn

and hands are frantic to bury my body

in this hole left after your absence…

this is where the breathing hitches

and tears strike like matches against my form.

This is where the fire never stops,

where the ashes of what was stays thickly

caked underneath my nails

and i’m still searching for a way to fix

every

single

thing.

Mending each breath we use to kiss together

in a room full of perfume-

the trace of proof

that we held each other in those memories

where I was falling in love with

eyes full of a darkness for the one

you never could forget.

Do you need them?

Do you need them when you cry in my bed?

Do you need them when I am never enough

for anyone to stand by?

Do you need them when I am on my knees,

giving up everything I stand for?

Do you need them when I leave?

When there is no longer a home

for me to come back to?

This is where I ask you questions

my mouth is too afraid to speak.