Nameless

It started in fourth grade
when the boys would pull my pigtails
and from my lungs,
a shriek would escape
And the teacher would laugh,
boys will be boys.

And the years went on.
Maybe they like you,
my mom said,
and I thought maybe that’s true.
And I always wondered what it would be like
to be loved by a boy.
No one would believe you,
he whispers,
if only in my mind.
I thought that was true, too.
so I said nothing,
did nothing.
And the blame would float above my head
like damp clouds and thunder rolling,
and with my knees pulled to my chest
I would scream with all the power I had,
which felt like none.
He loomed over me,
the one I begged to love me.
My stomach turned
when his hands touched my skin.
I knew I would never be free,
I could never tell.
Because everyone knew
boys will be boys,
and I was nothing.