Lesbian

at 14,
i cried
sliding my grandmother a note
with that dreaded l word on it
"it's just a phase"
i nodded and wiped my tears,
feeling relieved
"every girl goes through that"

at 16,
i got a boyfriend
seven years my senior,
we held hands and kissed for a year,
before finally having sex
and i texted my friend,
"i think eating out a woman would be hot"

at 18,
i was outed
by my second boyfriend,
after our third and final break up
"your sister likes girls"
i was in denial
"i'll eventually go back to swiping men on tinder"

at 20,
i am in love with a beautiful woman
the softness of her curves,
her beauty, her smile,
how she makes me feel safe and happy
when she holds me tight
"you are the best thing to happen to me"