can he? will he?

crimson red and midnight black liquid
pool on your wrist, seperate but together.
the black from the running mascara
as the tears fall from your eyes.
the red from the new, burning and stinging
cuts all up your arm.
you remeber thinking only yesterday
how you couldnt believe you had done
so much damage to yourself.
you vowed to stop.
but you lied.
not intentionally, but you did.
you couldve beat it but you let the need,
the desire overcome you.
now your arms tell more untold secrets and feelings.
as you roll down your newly tear stained sleeves,
you begin to think,
provoking more streaks of black down your face.
as you set the blade aside,
your arms become numb with the welcomed,
familar, stinging sensation.
as you shut off the lights,
you wonder silently what you have done.
the new question isnt if he CAN forgive you,
it is if he ever WILL.