Outside Voices

From the blissful moment I met you, I was swept up in your presence.
A present.
The back and forth chattering of endless conversation.
You promised me love and caring,
the hopeful stars and sharing...
But you ripped apart the sky and left me in the dark.
Everything rusted.
Oxidized on simple surfaces with an astringent burn
soaked into the lies.
Your eyes
that pulled me into pools of warmth became cold and shattered me.
The hope that dared me to reach for love was shredded with your razor-edged tongue.
But I let you stay by me, live with me,
bite down on my consciousness and patch over the old wounds to make room for new ones.
You are a light in my life but if I look at you too long it stings.
If I don’t look at you, it stings then, too.
So what am I to do?
I lessen my worth to white-knuckle the times you hold me to your side and tell people I’m yours.
It’s not worth it.
Or that’s what they tell me.