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I don't know why
I do this to myself
Keeping the date in my calendar
Just to put me through hell

I know you wouldn't have wanted it that way,
Or maybe you would've, maybe you really did
Maybe that final breath was
The biggest 'Fuck You' you could muster
And I know it took a lot out of you,
But it took even more from me just looking at your brother

And I don't know why
I bother running through it again
Walking down that church aisle
Over and over in my head

I know you wouldn't have wanted it that way,
Or maybe you would've, maybe you really did
Maybe that final breath was
The biggest 'Fuck You' you could muster
And I know it took an awful lot out of you,
But it took even more out of us having to look at your brother

I don't know why you did it
And I don't know why I wonder
But I have to ask myself everytime
I'm back there staring at your little brother

I know you wouldn't have wanted it that way,
Or maybe you would've, maybe you really did
Maybe that final breath was
The biggest 'Fuck You' you could muster
And I know it took a lot out of you,
But it took even more from me just looking at your brother