An Epiphany

I can't do it", said Tinkerbell, when she met me in a dream.
"Why not", "I yelled, I'll get you 100 quarts of cream."
"Cause she's still putting up, I see her soul still has agleam."
I flared up, as Bell smiled, and disappeared in the greenish moonbeam.

Tossing and turning every single night,
Even Austen or Moonlight Sonata, won't help me sleep.
My sunken eyes would stoically await the daylight,
Wishing on the morning star to cast away that black sheep.

I called upon a crossroads demon, begged for a fresh start, a clean slate.
The real kicker came when he refused to trade her, even for a key to the freakin' Hell's gate.

Booked a session and asked my therapist to once and for all, erase all her memories.
"Even hypnotherapy won't help", she said, "you seem to be looking for all the wrong remedies."

Neither does the Doc nor does the demon, star or Bell,
Fathom what I'm going through is not a rough patch, but shady dark black Hell.

I've seen the monster hiding behind that mask, I've seen the real her.
I know all the things she's pulled off, she's a ball of thorns camouflaged in pink fur.

Sanity hit her hard, now she's drowning in sadness and self-guilt.
She’s broken into a thousand pieces, now there's nothing left for her to build.

Her weight pulls me down daily, so exhausted! I wanna die.
But there are people I need to look after, promises I need to stand by.
It's down to her or me now, either one of us lives hereby,
The other one, for the greater good, has to bid this world a bitter goodbye.

"I'll go" she volunteered "as I'm the one who went dark."
"Good luck for all the future journeys that you will alone embark."

I pulled out a silver knife and stabbed her right in her heart.
A tear rolled down our eyes, it was the pain of being apart.
"As I fade away she said, you'll get what you deserve your so-called 'fresh start'.

I'll sleep calmly I thought, dream about the northern light.
I found myself lonely and scared,
curled up in my blanket at midnight.

She is gone. I killed her. Despite,
Something felt grave wrong, something wasn't right.
Everything was bland and colorless, nothing seemed to excite
my stupid heart, who had now perceived, that it had put up the wrong fight.
It then struck me, the coin always has two sides the black, and the white.

I killed a girl who was lost,
But never estimated what it would cost?
I killed a girl who did wrong,
But didn't realize that her soul still had a song.
I killed a girl who's heart had turned all stiff and stark,
But forgot that her deep brown eyes still had that fiery spark.
I killed a girl who, form all relationships just wanted to elope,
But forgot to question myself, -was that her only hope?
I killed a girl who's soul had a scar,
But forgot how perfect we all actually are!

Now, all aghast when I sit and ponder,
I comprehend what I did was a very big blunder.
I judged a girl, categorized her as an outcast,
Why? Only cause she had a scary past?

Heartbroken in grief and regret, now when I look into the mirror,
My eyes fill up and body shivers in terror.

Cause the person I see, is no longer me,
And my heart cries out loud, in agony,
Cause I carved out and killed a piece of my own Soul,
Now, I'll never ever be the same, I'll never be whole.

Next thought that pops into my brain, is to fix this and summon the elves,
But I forgot that magic only works when one believes in oneself.