Late Night Internal Turmoil
suicide on my mind
but i can't leave now
i'm too entwined
so many people, beings i love
to leave them behind
would be so rough
i know what it's like
to mourn from this side
to cause all that pain
might bring their demise
i can't make my friends
grieve to no end
but am i that even special?
shut up brain, don't be so unkind
i must be loved
or they wouldn't be by my side
i am grateful for them
so this life i can't end
even though i feel numb
i'll get around this bend
oh fuck, it hurts
to be so down in the dirt
trapped in my brain
as i quietly go insane
but i can't leave now
i'm too entwined
so many people, beings i love
to leave them behind
would be so rough
i know what it's like
to mourn from this side
to cause all that pain
might bring their demise
i can't make my friends
grieve to no end
but am i that even special?
shut up brain, don't be so unkind
i must be loved
or they wouldn't be by my side
i am grateful for them
so this life i can't end
even though i feel numb
i'll get around this bend
oh fuck, it hurts
to be so down in the dirt
trapped in my brain
as i quietly go insane
♠ ♠ ♠
Having a rough run lately. Mental illness giving me a reminder that it is definitely still there. Struggling real bad a few nights ago. Am doing okay though. Silently battling my thoughts of "I want to get off this ride" and "I don't want to leave because I love my life". Very confusing. But that's my mental illness for ya!