It Is Not a Dirty Word

I understand why my girlfriend despises the word lesbian and refuses to label herself as such, rather a quick I'm gay if need be

As we sit around the campfire, drinks in hand (mine, whiskey, hers, beer), her mother, aunt and cousin are beside us

Cracking jokes, having fun, nobody taking much notice of anything as the alcohol goes to our heads, making all of us giddy and loose-lipped

The fateful words: "I'm a lesbian"

Contextually, a punchline, only meant lightheartedly, part of the storytelling sequence, then her mother, "don't say that", confusion, etched across my face, "you're not a lesbian" excuse me? "you're just two people in love"

My identity, (emphasis on my) is not to be policed, or taken away, it is one of the most important parts of who I am. It is my foothold in this world, full of heterosexuality and heteronormativity, my way of fighting back against these preconceived notions

Her aunt agrees, "there's no need for it", and I feel small -- maybe my identity doesn't matter. But for these straight women, they have never been challenged, or accused of being other, as they fit with the status quo

And I think of my girlfriend, growing up surrounded by this mindset, and it is no wonder that she -- a woman who loves women -- has only embraced this word in recent times

So I stop, take a breath, settle my growing anger. It is important, and it does matter, and lesbian is not a dirty word. It is me, and my girlfriend, and our friends, and not a description of our relationship, but as who we are at the core