I Blame Myself

I hate that I love you because we’re not on the same level.
I hate that I have to tone myself down so I don’t come off weird and too strong.
I hate that I constantly worry about what you’re doing because I want to know that I’m good enough and I’ll eventually be “the one” for you.
I hate that I place so much of my value on you.
I hate that I’m scared you’ll never love me that same as I do you.

I have no idea why I even try.
I’m never going to be good enough for you at all. I’m not skinny, I’m not smart, I’m not pretty, I don’t have nice teeth or gorgeous eyes.

I actually hate myself.

I feel like I can’t do anything right and whatever I attempt to do gets me nowhere.

I honestly feel like crying. That’s so redundant of me considering I cry over everything; but I can’t help it.
I don’t know if I’m sad, depressed, confused, or simply a combination.

Self pity is pathetic.
I’m pathetic.
Guess that’s why I’m so good at this shit.

Nice to be good at something for once.