Left Wanting

What is she not telling me that bothers her so much?
Is it me? Is it my words? Is it that I’m not enough?
I don’t measure up to her, I know, she tells me every day
How amazing was she last year that I’m such a waste?

And she sees me in a way that no one saw me before
Is it anger? Or contempt? Oh man, I don’t know what for
Am I as inept as she makes me believe I really am?
Or is it that she does not tolerate my will to try?

Was she perfect? Was she golden? Was she everything I’m not?
Why does she talk me down often without seeming to just know?
I know that I have my failures, I have to constantly live with them
But, why does she act like it’s my fault when somebody fails instead?

This is stifling and frustrating, dragging my name through the mud
With her act of self-importance, that makes her the leading dog?
I am tired of her silent judgment, I’d rather she came clear now
But she disguises serious in jest, she told me, in case no one knew how

She needs to sit down and tell me, I can’t stand this quiet no more
And she needs to hear me out, because I know I’m not enough
But I am willing to try and fight for right, I show it every time
If my hard work doesn’t cut it to prove who I really am

This has become intolerable for me, it keeps me up at night
And it only serves to diminish my motivation to the ground
I keep trying, what is left for me to do or say now that I’m here?
This is my last chance, last stop, last train before I disappear.