It Hurts, Mom.

You're gone
and it hurts.
All that's left is your certificate of death
and I remain here, holding on
knowing I'll never see you again.
It hurts, mom.
It really hurts.
I can't visit your grave
it's far away
in another country.
I can't cry with the comfort
of being near your grave.
I can't feel close to you,
no matter what I do.
Memories, hateful memories
I hate that all I have is memories.
That last embrace in the hospital
you were so small in my arms
like a child
I wanted to take you away
and give you life
I wanted you to be healthy
and for a while I thought you would.
I gave myself the delusion
that you were going to be okay
that's how afraid I was
but my worst fear came true
and I lost you for good.
I hate that you're gone
and I hate that I couldn't save you.
It hurts, mom.
Oh God, how it hurts.
Time passes by and it hurts even more.
You're gone.
Still gone.
My nightmare hasn't ended yet.
Just the thought of you not being here
tears my soul
and I can't pull myself out
of these sorrowful thoughts.
I wish I could save you, mother.
If only God gave me the option
of giving you life from my remaining years
and even if my heart stopped beating
I would have given it all for you.
That's my love, mom
never-ending, not knowing any limit
but you're gone
and I can't bring you back.
Never will this void be ever filled up.
Your void, mom;
the void you created leaving me behind.
It still hurts, mom
and it will always will.