A letter to the man who took my innocence
To the man who took my virginity:
I think about you sometimes. Quite a bit at others. I think about the life that you promised me....One that wasn't yours to offer. I knew better, yet in my broken pieces, so quickly gave you that part of myself. A part that I will never get back. I just needed your love so badly. Sometimes I feel taken advantage of. After all, you were married...older...my educator.
You were my safe space when i was at the end of an ever fraying thread.
Sometimes I miss your company. Your friendship, but I wonder.. Am I the broken mess that I am because of you? Do I hesitate to lean into marriage with my great man of seven years because i know how easy it is to lie? Do I long for the comfort of your arms because you were my first?
Then Why do I wait, holding my breath for the familiar heartbreak of abandonment? The abandonment i felt when you so quickly tossed my heart into the trash when you were backed into a corner. When you had no other options. I deserved to be thrown away then. I still deserve it today. So broken and unlovable. I am no longer angry, I just sit and wait for The inevitable heartbreak.
I think about you sometimes. Quite a bit at others. I think about the life that you promised me....One that wasn't yours to offer. I knew better, yet in my broken pieces, so quickly gave you that part of myself. A part that I will never get back. I just needed your love so badly. Sometimes I feel taken advantage of. After all, you were married...older...my educator.
You were my safe space when i was at the end of an ever fraying thread.
Sometimes I miss your company. Your friendship, but I wonder.. Am I the broken mess that I am because of you? Do I hesitate to lean into marriage with my great man of seven years because i know how easy it is to lie? Do I long for the comfort of your arms because you were my first?
Then Why do I wait, holding my breath for the familiar heartbreak of abandonment? The abandonment i felt when you so quickly tossed my heart into the trash when you were backed into a corner. When you had no other options. I deserved to be thrown away then. I still deserve it today. So broken and unlovable. I am no longer angry, I just sit and wait for The inevitable heartbreak.