grief waves

they looked at me as though i was crazy
i *was* crazy; broken & destroyed - pushed beyond words
when i let out those sounds
of deep hurt, sorrow, despair - of open wounds -
they turned and said, maybe you need help
talk to someone... stop screaming... we don't know what to do
it's not healthy! maybe you need some medication
some sedation

but i knew deep down, those sounds.....
they had to come out
my world was torn apart, i became grief, embodied
i had nothing but those sounds, rivers of tears

so some days now even,
when i feel the sting
i go somewhere alone
where nobody can hear me scream
and i let out those wails
of pain and despair
but i do it alone
so nobody can care.

we are taught not to feel.... fuck that.