Woman of the Wild

Getting so high on the monoamines
from all those fucked up genes
I danced and twirled
thinking I was on top of the world
howling at the moon
heart like a balloon,
full of hot air
not one worry or care
‘til I relapsed and collapsed
dizzy and sick
covered in the cum of pricks,
raped and ripped up -
just when I thought things were looking up

But when it’s all said and done
You’ll find me gunning straight for the sun
High up in the stratosphere
Saying “fuck you” to the fear
As I live a minimal life to the max
Taking pills to stop the heart attacks,
Drifting in clouds of acrid smoke -
Just calm enough until it leaves me broke

I won't let the doctor make me conform
When I’m still in the eye of the storm
I’ll keep trying to touch the sun
until I inevitably come undone
on my melted wings of wax;
left picking up the sticky pieces,
paying the tax
on all those leases,
And all those loans
that I signed to fix these broken bones

I’ll always be left battered and scattered
Whether it's the souêtes or the snow squalls
But I really don’t know if I’ve got the balls
to quit changing like the weather
and keep this devil on a tether
Cuz even though it’s oh so frightening
It’s got a silver lining lit up by lightning

I'm only pushin’ up daisies, totally dysphoric
Until it's all comin’ up roses, feeling euphoric