Let's Not Let the Writer Die

Is It strange I miss the chaos
The harsh taste in the back of my throat
And the smoke in my lungs
Floating above and deceiving it as happiness

The danger of unknown men
Most of their names lost in memory
I scumb to their desires
Craving the feeling of fake love

Experiencing the loss of control
And not giving a dam about gaining it back
It finally felt great to be
What I thought was the real me

I can tell you what I don't miss
Seeing the disappointment in their eyes
When I didn't know when to quit
But the scars are left there to remind me

Letting it keep happening again
Because I thought I could help him
He abused my voice
Turning it into a permission slip

Being the other women
Seeing how many are unfaithful
Willing to through away their relationship
For a one time thrill

I miss the escape
The rush of being reckless
But I would never want to go back