Sit still. Silent.

How do you tell a boy that he's in your dreams?
That his face haunts you-
his eyes melt you.
When he seems so distant
afraid to see you
or just avoiding you.

How do you not tell him you want him?
When his arm spans the shoulders of another
a silent peck on the cheek
and you keep silent.

All the while
you sit there, cold, clammy, sick
wishing for the touch of his skin
on the feel of your own
his taste
his scent
but you see him
and you still sit.

Even on that chance day
when he speaks to you
and you try
swallow
try
swallow
even a few simple words
and you're not allowed to speak
your stomach won't let you.

So, really, how do you tell him?
as the rocks in your throat crumble
and a thick paste swarms your teeth
all you can think about his him
his teeth
his mouth
on hers.
and all the while
you sit. silent.