I really don't know what to make of it all.

I really don't know what to make of it all.
May08

I know what it means to get the breath knocked out of you.
Can you say sucker punch?
I guess he didn't mean to.
And it really didn't hurt.

Except that it did.
So much.

Does this make me just another
whatever?
One of them?
Have I been one all along,
but remained oblivious,
too focused on what might be--
what should be--
to notice that the path my feet are taking me
forked off of the one
my head was locked on?

My head got the better of my heart,
I think.

This is turning into the worst thing possible
for me.
I shouldn't be this upset,
but these emotions--
melting into one another before I can make sense of
any--
are proof enough
that this is definitely not right.

Have I let these
high hopes
set me up
for this
crushing
f

a

l

l

?