I tried to cut it out

I read it out loud,
Knowing theres no one here to listen,
Im looking up at the door every few seconds,
As if you wound walk in woundering if im ok,
You wouldnt though,
you dont notice my muffled cries,
you dont see the blood run under the door into the hall,
you dont notice that this is what I do at night,
I sit here and I cut the pain out,
As if it were just skin deep,
But no,
It is way more,
Its im my head,
And my heart,
The pain you cause me,
Will never leave,
It will never go away,
You can never take it back,
You can say your sorry all you want,
But things will never be the same,
But at least you are happy,
Because you dont even notice.