How Meaningless

The gateways to Heaven aren't open for me
I can't seem to find my way anymore
How did this get so bad?
How could I let this get too far?
Nothing seems to ever make sense
Tell me this: Did it ever?
I never used to be this broken soul that I am
I was never this monster that hides behind the mask
My fragments of memories are haunting me
The people that were beside me are no longer visible
They're no longer there
Everybody who had ever said "I'll be there" has just turned into a shadow
They became only a distant memory
They never meant their promise

Just like I'm becoming

Nothing more than a lie in the sheets
Waiting for somebody, anybody to crawl inside
Just so I can blind them from the truth
These words that escape my lips are meaningless
They hold a secret song that nobody can define
But only can I
As I curl up, and watch my world disappear
To shatter, to break

Right before my eyes...