Secrets

Fear, terror, that same pounding in my chest.
The throbbing in my head, pain in my heart.
Guilt ridden from the lies, terrified to tell the truth.
Knowledge of the unknown, ignorant of the obvious.
Thoughts in my head, feelings in my heart.
If only they knew, how keeping it a secret is killing me inside.

That numbing feeling, keeping everything quiet.
In my mind, in my heart, in my body, I know.
Changes nothing, alters everything.
Nothings different, everything’s changed.
Desires, a sin.
Wants, a crime.
Hurting myself to please them.

Open my mouth, speak!
Sit in shadows, don’t be seen!
Honesty is key!
Lies are a way out!
Live!
Die!
Controversial, problem creating.
Sit, lie, die.
Make them happy.
I can live some other day