Lonley again

Lonely again
With no one to turn to but myself
Sitting here blaring my music to calm my tears
Draining out any other sounds that could possibly distract me
Holding on to dear to all my fondest memories
Trying to go back to all those times when nothing mattered
And my only worry is I wouldn’t be up in time on Saturday to watch cartoons
I never had to worry about all the backstabbing and lying that goes on
Maybe if they would have kept me away
From all those mistakes I’ve made
I wouldn’t be in this lonely place regretting my choices
If I would have listened to my heart I would have been good
I wouldn’t be regretting being who I wasn’t
And I wouldn’t be going through pain
And I wouldn’t be crying myself to sleep ever other night.
My heart wouldn’t be so heavy from all the past memories
Of that verbal pain that we give each other unknowingly every day
My true friends wouldn’t have to call to make sure I’m ok and stop the tears with silly things
My head would be clear or at least filled with good things
But its ok because I know that these problems will just build me up to be stronger
To make me a better person
And make me into someone people turn to for advice on stuff that I’ve gone through
Maybe that’s my purpose
To go through tough stuff and help others through
Those tears that once streamed down will be gone because I can see the meaning in all my troubles
And then I’ll smile