My Disaster

I was extremely sad one night at 1-2 AM and just wrote some random stanzas about how I felt.

Running in a hamster wheel,
Keep getting pushed back to the start.
I'm the one who wanted to run it,
But now I cannot stop.

Digging the hole deeper,
Almost six-feet below the ground.
I can't get out,
And I'm sinking down deeper.

It sure is lonely down here,
No support or love.
Just a hole,
That gets deeper and deeper each day.

Tears stream down my cheeks,
I start to cry.
I hug the cat,
And don't want to say good-bye.

I hear my mom coming,
I better wipe my tears up.
She cannot find out,
She'll never understand.

I laugh,
Just to keep myself from tearing up.
I am really,
Tearing myself down.

Guilt permeates through my skin,
Makes it hard to breathe.
A disaster of my own making,
It makes me want to die.

I can't sleep,
Even though I usually sleep well.
It's 2:00 AM,
On a school-night.

I want to crawl out of this hole,
But I cannot.
It might,
Upset everyone else.

I'm sick of this,
I just want to scream.
I wish this,
Never happened to me.