Cutting Myself - For the First Time

As if waking up from a surreal dream,
laying here on the cold tiles.
I didn't remember anything.

As I got up, I saw the blood around me.
Puzzled, I glanced at my arms.
Long, jarred marks covered them.
"What have I done?" I thought.

As I closed my eyes, it all came back to me.
The hysteric crying,
the screaming and constant knocking on the door.
I could not believe I'd just cut myself.

I stood up,
saw the knife and flushed it.
I wish I could do the same to this whole experience.

I walked over to the door,
unlocked it and looked at my friends.
They said nothing as they hugged me and started crying.