Thoughts

Furious heartbeats push against my ribs,
I take deep breaths,
I try to feel like I do live.
The cold night air touches my skin,
I like to feel the goosebumps crawl all over it.
It’s so nice to stay in bed, and dream.
It’s not nice at all when you reek, when you bleed.
Sheets are only warm when they’ve been slept in
I like you there, I love when you’re with me.
But you’re not here...never have been.
He was like a trail, but no the you I was seeking.
Far too much drama than happiness.
He made me feel moronic, like I was more than he deserved
And then I was worthless, again.
It didn’t feel right.
To be on the ever so mentioned rollercoaster,
I just wanted to gag.
I haven’t met you yet, you haven’t appeared on my life.
Where the fuck are you hiding?
Am I that messed up and horrid, you won’t come?
Jamas?
Shit I feel like I’m talking to my teddy bear,
Except he’s cute and he listens,
And I swear he loves me back.
It’s been some time since I wandered down this lane.
It’s been some time since I wondered when you’ll warm my bed.