Terrible Conviction Part I

In the silence of my fears,
Come the howls of my tears.

I feel like I hurt you in every way,
But you have no idea
How much it hurts me
Every day.

I pray to God in Heaven that you stay.
[Even though I can't stand you]

You claim that you'll love me forever,
And that no matter what, you'll wait for me.

You will never know how much I love you.
How much you mean.
How much it hurts when you're away.
[Yet all you do is run away]

I pray that you stay.

I cry myself to sleep for your protection.
I tell myself it's not my fault.
But you've clearly blamed it all on me.
It's become impossible to hear the truth.

Please,
Tale your life out of my hands,
And this weight off my shoulders.
You said you'd never stop loving me,
But even that turned out to be a lie.

So why do you try to convince me of the truth,
When all that your words do are convict me of your death.

I caused nothing, It was your choice.

But the blame lies on me for feelings I could not control.
But now that you can, and I will,
You won't
You don't.