What Could Have Been

So earlier I was feeling better
Not so lame at all
But sometimes hearing the success of others
Makes you think what you could have done
My old dreams are coming back
Making me feel home sick
If I had stayed
I could have be come
What I had trained for
For so long
With his teachings
And his support
I could have made it way far
I wanted to be something
But now they hate me
And he who loved my like a daughter
Has found someone else
To call his own
She was my friend
But I took for granted what he gave
And pretended it was all lame
I should have listened to him
Or told them I wanted to stay
I know its selfish
But I wish it weren’t this way
On the other hand
Look how far I’ve gotten
It isn’t that far
But I have a new goal
I don’t know how to grab it
Because she won’t let me try
Oh I wish it weren’t so
I want to go
I wish this had never happened
But at the same time I am glad it did
Oh I don’t know what I want
All I know is that I feel torn up
What would have happened if I had stayed
I want to be happy
But I don’t know that I can
Other peoples successes
Can bring your life down
It makes me wonder
What could have been