Life Is So Untrustworthy...

Everything is happening so fast.
My life seems like its slipping away
I have no control

She's almost never on anymore.
I miss the words she would type
The 'I love you''s she would drop
I miss being all excited to read the PM's
I miss wanting to come home
I miss talking to her
Letting all my feelings out to her
But most of all

I miss her.

It seems like I don't live
I'm just a soul 'borrowing' this body
Giving me something to do
Untill I leave this body and find another
Another 'life' to explore
Another day to figure this place out

It seems like the ones I look up to most
Let me down the hardest
Seems like they are playing mind games with me
Leading me into their trap
Coaxing me to believe in them
But not believe in my self

They just want me to sing their words
Feel their pain
Follow them
Praise them
Live the life that they did

But I'm smarter
I learn from their mistakes
I don't drink
I don't do drugs
I don't smoke
I'm not them

I may worship them
But not to the point
Where I make the same mistakes
I'm dying inside from the fear.
The fear the lies beneath the skin
Waiting to jump out and kill me
Hidden from everyon else
Only visible to me
Only visible to those who read me like a book

That's few
Only one person can do that
But he's gone
Left me when I was young
We vowed to stay best friends forever
But vows are promisses
And promisses are meant to be broken
Just like my life
Just a bunch of broken promisses
Promisses that used to shape my life
Used to gain my trust
But no more
I can't beilve 'em no more

Sad, when a teenager can't even trust her own mother