Note to Home

From:
Ms. Kara Little
Cell Block 2, Terence Correctional Facility
Ambrosia Applebee, Arizona 67893

Dear Mom,

You asked and asked to tell you of my 'minor' plight
And so here I write:

Just a tiny case of Relationship problems
And not your average kind
For what the hell's a girl to do when she sees him in a bind?

'Binds' more like...
Who knew he was the submissive type?

Oh well,

I could have been forgiving
True my nature is quite nice
But when I spoke to my man hating best-friend
She gave me some advice

'Men are like Dung-beetles.'
She declared with steadfast vigor
'All they do is find nasty shit
And proceed to roll around in it.'

After countess enlightening metaphors
That lasted hours upon hours more
I decided to take matters into my own hands
It's amazing what you can do with a lighter and gas-can

After tireless calculations the math comes out just about right
The world is down one jackass and I get 15 to Life

I can feel your disappointment and can see your unshed tears
But just know I send my love
To write back, the address is as written above
See you in a couple years!

Love, Kara