Realization
I wish to have jumped when I had the chance. Had the chance to get away from this life, this torture, this hell....Why didnt I? I ask myself this question everyday, and I dont even know why....maybe its because of him, maybe not...I dont know anymore....All I know is that if ever I were to fall, he would never be there when I call.
If ever I were to need you, ever to want you, you would never be here, by my side...Never be mine, always hers and even her friend's...Never mine. I could kill for you, but you would never even look to me in any way but joking...Not even to look upon me in seriousness if I were to be dying....Never be crying at my funeral if I were to have jumped overboard that night and had went flying over the railing and into the water.
I realize this now, as I sink into depression, a place of darkness where no light can be found unless it is wanted...I'm afraid of darkness, would you be the flashlight to bring me light through this depression? I doubt it. I'm not stupid, I know you love anything that's not me, and I can stand that...I found realization and that's good enough for me.
I hope realization hits you, and you finally understand that I am not what you thought I was...I am more...much, much more....I am Realization, I find things that were once hidden from me, in order for me to learn them on my own. You'll never hide things from me, now that I have realization...Hopefully one day she'll find realization too, and will see that you are not what she thought, and then what will you do when she shows realization to those who you hide things from? I dont know, and now, I honestly dont care. Have a nice life, mine will be wonderful...Now that I have realization.
If ever I were to need you, ever to want you, you would never be here, by my side...Never be mine, always hers and even her friend's...Never mine. I could kill for you, but you would never even look to me in any way but joking...Not even to look upon me in seriousness if I were to be dying....Never be crying at my funeral if I were to have jumped overboard that night and had went flying over the railing and into the water.
I realize this now, as I sink into depression, a place of darkness where no light can be found unless it is wanted...I'm afraid of darkness, would you be the flashlight to bring me light through this depression? I doubt it. I'm not stupid, I know you love anything that's not me, and I can stand that...I found realization and that's good enough for me.
I hope realization hits you, and you finally understand that I am not what you thought I was...I am more...much, much more....I am Realization, I find things that were once hidden from me, in order for me to learn them on my own. You'll never hide things from me, now that I have realization...Hopefully one day she'll find realization too, and will see that you are not what she thought, and then what will you do when she shows realization to those who you hide things from? I dont know, and now, I honestly dont care. Have a nice life, mine will be wonderful...Now that I have realization.