The Show

Every day that I wake and say that I'll take
This back in my hands my hope never lands
Where I meant for it to, you understand what I do?
I sabotage myself and refuse my own help
And it's so simple for others as I hide under my covers
Wishing it would all disappear but I know that my fear
That this is all too real, not something easy to heal,
Is much too well founded, I never knew how this sounded
So pathetic and weak I wish my actions would speak
And reflect my true desire but I'm just a liar
I lie to myself about my own health
I lie to my friends and just make pretend
So tomorrow I'll say that, "this is the day",
When deep down I know it's always a show.