Fear of Perfection

I wished to find a perfect man
But it seemed after so many years
It ended up in tragedy
And left me with many fears

And every night, I’d stay up late
I’d wonder there forever
I’d look up at the stars and think
When I’d be done with these endeavours

I want a man with something blue
And eyes like stars and lips that mend
This heart that’s been so tattered, torn
A man that makes my anger end.

A man who’s not afraid to speak
A man who’d do all to defend
Me when he senses I’m in need
But won’t say that I’m weak

Someone who can have some pride
And understands that I can’t loose mine
Who won’t forget me when I’m gone
I’d love him til the end of time

Someone who makes me not afraid
Who’ll hug me and not let go
He won’t judge but laugh instead
of awkwardly saying “oh”.

He lets me curl up in his arms
And gives a place to rest
He’ll think I’m pretty but he’ll know
There’s more to me then my chest

He’ll love me til his dying day
He’ll never let me go
He’ll give my eyes a place to cry
And always come to say hello

I almost wish he won’t exist
And never look my way
With all these years and dreaded tears
I know nothing ever wants to stay

I know if he finds me
I’ll die when he takes leave
I’ll hate him for the things he says
And making me believe.

That I could ever love again
I’d be a fool to think it’d last
What if I do something wrong and
He leaves me in the past?

What if I’m left to cry again?
And my world fades to black?
What if he sends me back to hell?
With angels whipping at my back?

And should I trust him and he leaves
I know I won’t survive
I can’t take those morbid thoughts
Of wondering why I’m alive

But in my heart I hope he knows
That he’s all that I wanted
I hope he comes and saves me soon
From these fears so dark and haunted.

But most of all, so hard I wish
That I’m not too demanding
That he’ll take me for all I am
And make sure we both stay standing

I hope and pray he’ll stick around
And not tear me apart
I hope he’ll be protective
and aware he keeps my heart.