hurt

i can remember...
once upon a time
i was the broken damsel
you were the shining knight
you were everything i've ever wanted
you loved me
held me
kissed me
you fought the demons in my head
you made me perfect
in your eyes i could do no wrong
you swept me off my feet to your magical kingdom
then one day it all came crashing down
my fairytale became a nightmare
the moment we fought
you became violent
the bruises scarred my soul and every night i cried myself to sleep
but you never said a word
you just brought us into debt with drinking bills and gambling
it hurt
i couldn't take it anymore
my scars refused to heal
you left me broken
unloved
and then i had Saphire
such a sweet baby
i thought maybe she could change you
but,alas, i was wrong
i saw how you beat her after you beat me
if only i weren't so weak...
if only i could've saved her from you

burying my child was unbearable

then i went into your room
i saw you with someone else
and it tore my heart in two to know that you didn't love me anymore
did you ever?
and she looked so cold
with clouds in her pale grey eyes
almost white
so unlike my own
so unhuman
but you didn't care
you just kept hitting me until i became so numb
i could hardly breathe
i was locked in the cellar
cold and alone
but then i saw it there
glittering in the candlelight i write by
the blade felt sharp against my flesh
and now, as i write this in my own blood
i am happier hen ever
because i know that i am going to a better place
where you can't hurt me anymore
you'll never be able to hurt me anymore