Have You

Have you tried death?
Have you toyed with its charm?
Has it saved your breath,
And brought you from harm?

Have you broke your own skin,
With something sharp,
And then been scolded for your sin,
By words that go straight to the heart?

Have you stared at a gun,
Slid your finger down the trigger,
And thought, is it fun?

Has your pulse quickened,
When death comes up in subject?
Have you wished that your life,
Would become the suspect?

Have you stood on the balcony,
And wished it were up higher?
So that maybe,
You could jump from this dire.

Have you not wished,
For them to die,
Because your wish,
Let’s you go first?

Have you not seen a bottle,
And imagined it full of pills,
Just to slip down your throat,
And save you from more than ills?

Have your eyes filled with tears,
Because you fear,
That you won’t be the first to go?
No?

Has your life,
Not looked worth the trouble,
The pain, the strife?

I have tried death.
I toyed with its charm.
It saved my wasted breath,
And stopped my alarm.

I have broke my own skin,
And watched the blood.
When I was reprimanded for my sin,
I just let my heart thud.

For I had imagined,
Holding a gun,
Up to my chin,
And then to hear the shot rung.

My pulse speeds,
When I hear of death,
I think up wonderful deeds,
To bring an end to my breath.

I wished to jump,
From the rooftop.
I wished that the steady thump,
Of my heart would stop.
I’ve wished that I took every pill in that bottle,
Starting from the top.
I have wished that someone would throttle,
This life from my soul.
I have wished that I wouldn’t move,
And my eyes would go dull.

I have wished,
And I have tried,
But still you’ll notice,
That I’m alive.