Secret From You, Desperation For You

I wish I knew what to say
And how to say it to you
Instead of saying to someone else
You doesn't understand
Who can't help
Yet wants to

Someone I barely know
So much less than I know you
Someone I confide in deeply
When it's you I want to tell

But I'm afraid of the fall
And I'm afraid of losing it all
And I'm afraid to take a step
For fear it will all fall down

I pretend it's all okay
That it's just another day
That a kiss is just a kiss
Not something I need so bad

I'll look in the mirror and hate myself
For what I feel and my silence
I wring my hands and think bad thoughts
And bury my head in my hands

For I'm afraid of the fall
And I'm afraid of losing it all
And I'm afraid to take a step
For fear it will all fall down

I hear footsteps, look up, hope it's you
I should have known you weren't there
Just some random stranger
Not coming to see me, doesn't care

I walk away from all my tears
Press myself against a wall
Bite my lip so hard it bleeds
And brace myself for the fall

I'm afraid of falling down
And my head that starts to pound
I'm afraid of losing it all
But more than anything I've thought of today ...

I'm afraid of you walking away