Locking Up The Smile.

The corners of my smile,
Are so stretched and worn out now.
I get back home,
Again - alone,
Then sit and wonder how,
How I manage to keep walking -
When this weight pushes me down,
How I manage to keep smiling,
When it's easier to frown.

How can I laugh at something,
When there's more reasons to cry?
Why should I live life happily,
When so many people die?
Why should I learn about the world,
Why should I want to care?
When all they say -
At the end of the day,
Is nobody
Is there.

Why should I birth a child,
When the world will break its heart?
There's a chance my dreams won't make it -
So why should I even start?
Why should I dress up warmly,
When I'm still going to get cold.
Why should I try to look younger -
When in the end I shall get old?

Why should I buy an umbrella,
When the rain will always pour?
Why should I donate to charity -
When they're always needing more?
Why should I look up at the clock,
When I know I will be late?
Why should I search aimlessly for love -
When everyone else just hates?

I'll lock the door and walk inside,
Then wipe my smile away.
Put it in a trinket box,
Safe for another day.
I'll sit on my bed and look outside,
And watch the rain fall down.
And wonder why I should get up,
And fruitlessly run around -
For people I haven't met yet,
With far more money than me.
Who don't care if I want children,
Whose smiles I have yet to see.

I shall forget all that,
And slip into bed -
And toss and turn for a while,
And frown - because it's easier,
And I cannot reach my smile.

But then, whilst I'm still restlessly awake -
And self-pity begins to mourn,
I will glance out of the window,
At the darkest stretch of dawn.
And then, just as the world -
Is an endless gaping black,
Suddenly the arch or the rising sun,
Brings the gentle light back.
And that one line of gold,
That reaches as wide as I can see -
Tells me even in the darkest times,
There'll be a light for me.