Twisted up Nusery Rhyme

"Lovely weather we are having, sheep?"
said a young boy to a lamb.
"Boy, you must have gone insane,
Look at me: I've got a mane!"

"Hello young lamb, I must say,
Your coat is looking nice."
"No, no, you fool!
That's not my wool!
I told you, I'm a horse!"

"Little horse, you think you are?
You are crazier by far!"
Little boy patted lamb's head
And lamb replied with,

"You are mental,
Scatterbrained,
Boy, I tell you,
You're insane!"

"No no, little sheep.
You do not see.
Do not weep,
But lamb you be."

"No, no, no!
You are schizophrenic,
Seeing things as well!
Sheep nor ponies talk,
Yet you chatter with cornstalks!"

"Ha ha, you flatter me sheep.
Thinking I can talk to things.
Everyone knows this is your dream,
And you are quite asleep!"

"Holy shit, I'm no lamb!"
said Calf, opening his eyes.
"Mama, I have gone stark raving mad,"
Calf was trying to not cry.

"Nonsense dear one,
Do not shed a single tear.
You just have mad cow disease,
You will not die, do not fear!"

"Oh okay!"
Calf closed his eyes once more,
And thought with a laugh,
"Once that farmer's had a taste,
Me, he won't forget!"