Sometimes I Wonder

every time i sit back to think
i can't understand these words we've shared
the spark that started the flame is unseen
much less unheard of
strange
the one who has the least confidence
was the one most willing
and in any case
the strength it takes to run you down
without bursting
it's insane
my heart was pounding
and it's not even the usual reason

the unfair vantage point you have
is experience
to take part of that embarrassment away
the shyness...
it's definitely a killer

it's quite hard to understand
because sometimes i feel it
and sometimes i don't
but there's something about it
i really like
even though i feel terrible about it
with that she's just done

all the sadness
it's frustrating me
because i never see you smile now
it's kind of depressing
how you walk around
stone-faced; serious
that's not the person i met last year

it's not the boy i fell for.