An Open Book

To keep the tears from falling,
I slowly rock myself to sleep.
Knowing that every tear left unshed
is worth three more nights of pain.
But I already know I can never sleep happily again.

I try to hide the pain,
though it's evident in my eyes.
I look at the floor...that's all my eyes know.
Biting my tongue, to keep from screaming in pain.

I want to be alone
but I want to be held.
Everything is so confusing
and no one can explain.
As though they're empty shells.

I can't stand when people study my face.
And try to figure out what's wrong.
It's not their place to ask.
I want to keep them in the dark.

I put on a fake smile,
and cover myself
to keep them from reading me
like an open book.