Cavern of Uncertainty

Everything is just wrong, horribly, awfully wrong,
feeling this way, so much, for too long,
thats it, I cant take it, I gotta leave,
so alone, can I make it? Can you help me..?

..........................................

Im at a carnival? Man made happiness....
And not so far away is a cave, black abyss....
The stars twinkle above but its light as day,
I dont know what happened... Im finally away?

I finally escaped all of my sorrow and rage,
all of lifes problems used to drive me insane,
now, in this whatever it is, I feel an uneasy peace,
all of my rushing emotions have finally ceased...

But how did I get here? Is this a dream?
I dont know anything, how can this seem-
so impossibly real, but certainly impossible to be?
I dont even know what I feel... I dont know - are you me?

Then I saw her, away from the false-
childish lights, I could feel her pulse-
from so far away, she captured and held me-
in her beauty, something unknown beheld me...

I slowly stroll over, she turns her gaze-
to me from the cave, I think shes in a daze,
I offer my company, a ride in my arms,
in reality (?) I just wanted to keep her from harm...

Now I stand still and more still by the mouth of the cave,
And I breathe slowly and slower, breath taken away,
As I blink less and less, fighting the shadows of today,
While I think harder and harder, should I go or stay?

Stay and surrender to the demons inside?
Or go into the darkness and try to hide?
Will the monsters of life be able to find me in there?
With the love that Ive found? I'll protect her, I swear...

.....................................................

Thats it, Im gone, into the dark,
I can feel her breathing, the beating of her heart,
she's asleep, dreaming now, at ease in my grasp,
I almost weep, beaming now, I actually got what I asked...

The cavern is flooded, but thats alright,
the water is warm, ankle-deep, and doesnt put up a fight,
if I were to die, I'd want to die here and slow,
drinking the rancid water, the best poison I know...

I see a twinkling further down, and I grow curious,
lay her down somewhere dry, put her forehead to my lips,
I find that the light is a window to the stars, into space,
whats going on..? What the hell is this place...?

A sudden urge, I jump out, I float towards the stars,
I look back behind me, try to find out where we are,
turns out nothings there... thats it? It was all fake?
Well then... what to do now? How much more can I take?

Strangely enough, I dont really care...
Is it a good or bad thing that that wasnt there?
You think it would matter, that that love was fake...
Well, it was great while it lasted... maybe even better awake...

((But arent dreams just great?))