Hypoglycemia

For too long Ive just ignored things, pent them up and slept
but they break free too often, down to my heart they crept-
and strangled it, entangled it with all that they had left,
just like your lies and excuses, theyre never gone, theyre kept

I know youre just saying this so I'll get off your back
but it doesnt feel much better, so spare me no heart attack
I feel so bad, I still dont know what the Hell I lack
But it's always something, isnt it? Im so close, Im gonna crack

Now you dont even acknowledge that I still need your love
I know youre not dumb enough to not realize youre my only dove
so dont tell yourself youre "just some girl" that Im just gonna shove-
and get someone new, even though I know Im not good enough

Every single sweet thing will eventually turn sour
If left to fate, if stuck in time, it just loses its power
Ive lost mine, I feel too much, every second, a painful hour
without you Im afraid of heights and the light sits atop a tower

If Im so goddamn little I'll just be what you expect-
and prostitute myself, yeah no one I shall reject
I wont hold out for you anymore, and I wont hear you object
anger, spite, and vengeance are all arts I shall perfect

Im a horrible person, so just shoot me down
stuck like this always, you cant invert my frown
I just hate happy things, I'll slit the throat of a clown
I just gotta die, say goodbye, let me drown

So jealous, full of envy, why must I feel like this?
So upset, so stupid, geez I feel worse than shit
you were so fucking close, it couldve at least ended with a kiss
but you were gone before I gotcha, what went wrong? How'd I miss?

When you smile without me, I swear I wanna die
Why cant you feel the same? How come Im always "just some guy"?
men shouldnt feel this, I know it is not alright to cry...
Ive locked my tears shut anyway, but they wont shut up and say goodbye

Now Im so FUCKIN' angry, so FUCK THIS, IM GONE!
Next chance I get I WILL ERASE whatever THE HELL went wrong-
and end my life at last, Ive already been here WAYY TOO FUCKIN' long
... so I'll go burn somewhere else, by myself, in heat so strong

Im so sorry Im pointless, fuckin' just throw me away
But Im not sorry I did this, I cant wait 'til this day
I cant say my goodbyes but I have so much to say
But I will never come back, Ive got some demons to slay

And Im disgusting, so worthless, so just let me be
never good enough for anything, even this body
just insert the sweet needle so I can be free
empty, comatose, without a soul, forget about me

I always say that this is the last but I never follow through
cuz Im so goddamn dumbfounded, I dont know what to do
Im so sick and tired, so bored of knowing nothings new
God, we're both so stupid... Do you love me? 'cuz I LOVE YOU

Well, you dont and this IS the last, Im packing up, I'll see ya
Im NOT afraid, Im more at peace knowing I wont need ya
Im finally letting go of life, a pain like sickle-cell anemia
I finally dont have to yearn and burn in this sweet Hypoglycemia...