A Battle In My Head
These problems spill from my head,
the tears keep getting shed.
Who to trust? Who to tell?
Will they even care?
Questions remain unanswered,
unpleasant thoughts fill my mind.
What could be worse than all this?
An idea flashes through my head,
why not end it all?
With one simple slash to my wrists,
a few pills, a tub full of water,
what could go wrong?
A simple act is all it takes,
end the suffering, end the pain.
Why not?
But there goes the stupid voice in my head,
'Don't do it! Don't do it!'
It pleads, the pain evident in it.
'Be strong, you can do it! Beat this!'
But, why? What more is there to this life?
'A lot more. This is simply a hurdle you must overcome,
be strong. You can do it, trust me.'
Why should I trust you?
All the others that I've trusted hurt me,
what says that you can't do the same?
'I'm your other half, the rational one.
The one who wants to help you live. Survive.'
I can't, I simply can't. My heart aches with all the tears
I've shed, my head pounds with blood that freezes slowly.
They told me they'd be there, they tricked me.
The foolish girl who fell so easily, trusted anyone who seemed
kind. I can't do that anymore!
'I feel your pain, everyday I feel it. I want to stop it, but please,
don't do this. It will only make it much, much worse.
We can fight this together, just try.'
But, what if I'm not strong-
'No! You are strong, you just chose to make yourself
weak. Push that aside, be brave.'
I run this over through my head,
my eyes falling onto the shiny razor in my hand.
I sigh in frustration and nod once,
the razor falls beside the pills.
'Thank you.'
My heart beats slowly in my ears,
reminding me of why I'm here.
I hear their laughter across the hall,
picturing what life would be like after my fall.
More tears run down my face as I picture everything,
the pain I'd cause my parents, my sister, my brothers.
I wouldn't be able to endure that,
they don't deserve it, any of that.
My brother runs into the room,
hugging me at the waist.
He grins and points at the razor,
'It's nothing, trust me. It'll be okay.'
Saying those three words makes me smile,
I know that everything will be okay for now,
thanks to the voice in my head and my family.
the tears keep getting shed.
Who to trust? Who to tell?
Will they even care?
Questions remain unanswered,
unpleasant thoughts fill my mind.
What could be worse than all this?
An idea flashes through my head,
why not end it all?
With one simple slash to my wrists,
a few pills, a tub full of water,
what could go wrong?
A simple act is all it takes,
end the suffering, end the pain.
Why not?
But there goes the stupid voice in my head,
'Don't do it! Don't do it!'
It pleads, the pain evident in it.
'Be strong, you can do it! Beat this!'
But, why? What more is there to this life?
'A lot more. This is simply a hurdle you must overcome,
be strong. You can do it, trust me.'
Why should I trust you?
All the others that I've trusted hurt me,
what says that you can't do the same?
'I'm your other half, the rational one.
The one who wants to help you live. Survive.'
I can't, I simply can't. My heart aches with all the tears
I've shed, my head pounds with blood that freezes slowly.
They told me they'd be there, they tricked me.
The foolish girl who fell so easily, trusted anyone who seemed
kind. I can't do that anymore!
'I feel your pain, everyday I feel it. I want to stop it, but please,
don't do this. It will only make it much, much worse.
We can fight this together, just try.'
But, what if I'm not strong-
'No! You are strong, you just chose to make yourself
weak. Push that aside, be brave.'
I run this over through my head,
my eyes falling onto the shiny razor in my hand.
I sigh in frustration and nod once,
the razor falls beside the pills.
'Thank you.'
My heart beats slowly in my ears,
reminding me of why I'm here.
I hear their laughter across the hall,
picturing what life would be like after my fall.
More tears run down my face as I picture everything,
the pain I'd cause my parents, my sister, my brothers.
I wouldn't be able to endure that,
they don't deserve it, any of that.
My brother runs into the room,
hugging me at the waist.
He grins and points at the razor,
'It's nothing, trust me. It'll be okay.'
Saying those three words makes me smile,
I know that everything will be okay for now,
thanks to the voice in my head and my family.