Intoxicate me, tell me I'm okay.

Rain drops down the window as I stand there.
My face is a shadow in its presence.
But at least the picture on the glass doesn't show.
When my tears start to fall and I start to get scared.
This life I'm living is only lived for one person
I start to shudder, it's cold, I'm hurting.
I close my eyes.
Black.
I have to fire up.
I can't give up.
Wipe my eyes on nothing again,
Because they expect me to smile without pain.
Faith.
Intoxicate.
Another faceless person leaves me in their wake.
I run out on the road and take one last breath.
I open my eyes and embrace my death.
I fall down.
Deep beneath the surface.
I can't return, I've sold myself to service.
I can't smile, cry, laugh or die.
I can't sit, stand, or do anything I planned.
Not now.
I throw my upset and tears away seeking anger.
Seeking pure white hate, it makes me stronger.
I scream loudly and hope that it blocks out my thoughts.
I can't be like this anymore, I'm sick of being distraught.
Fought.
Sought.
Fuck, I'm hated.
But suddenly, all my emotion seems to fade.
I have receded my inner self hatred.
White.
Nothing in sight.
I open my eyes and I see rain still falling down the window.
I think of him for the hundredth time,
Just to feel the smile back on my lips.
I whisper, "It's over." then I walk away, and never look back.
And that was how I realised,
Everything's okay when I'm looking into your eyes.