That Voice

What do you do when your voice says to die?
All I said was that it was a lie.
What do you do when it says to pull the trigger?
All I see is the darkness getting bigger and bigger.

I had had it with my life,
So it said to pick up that knife.
Said to slice and cut,
Said to end it, that I’m a worthless slut.

I believed it that time,
Since it always spoke in rhyme.
The words that were spoken so well
Said that I was damned to Hell.

It made such sense
To give up the pretense
That I was sunny and bright,
That everything was all right.

Nothing was ever so clear
As when I would hear
That it was time to die,
Said in that beautiful sigh.

So that gun was in my hand,
Then the jump I could never land,
And the car coming my way,
Then thinking that drowning is pretty okay.

What was always the same,
Was someone calling my name.
I never quite knew who,
But they always sounded true.

Someday I will find the one
Who wouldn’t let my life be done,
And I live with the thought
That that voice had always brought.

I will find a way for my life,
And I should not pick up that knife.
I will start over today,
And hope that voice will go away.