DEPRESSED

Unbidden tears flow freely from my eyes,
I try to hold tight to what I know and love,
And then watch as it all falls away,
I play the lamentations of others,
So that I can drown out my own screams,
I want a way out,
Yet I'm too afraid to do anything about it,
TO afraid to say anything,
The tears that are shed during laughter,
Are merely the masks of tears shed in pain,
I act as if I need everyone's pity,
When I deserve no one's,
When they are the ones who deserve pity,
For wasting precious time on me,
Anger, screaming, sadness, slammed doors,
That's all I get from people,
I thought I was alright,
I thought everything was smooth sailing,
I was wrong,
My world blew apart in December, 2004,
And now I still cannot place it back together.